When I say “Highly sensitive”, you probably think “over-emotional”. Yes, I’m someone who cry’s over trivial things. Yes, I’m someone who over thinks and over analyses every situation and circumstance. I will cry over things that probably won’t even phase you. I’ll worry about things that seem normal to you, and I will put on a front, because that’s how I’ve learnt to handle it all. I’m going to be angry at you for reasons you can’t understand. I’m going to resent you for the things you should have said, and the times you should have been there but you weren’t. I’m going to love you in a way you’ll never be able to reciprocate. I’m going to put up a front, and let my guard down, then joke about it because that’s my current coping mechanism.
So coping for me, goes a little something like this…
How I want to believe I’m handling the situation… “Feelings? Nope… don’t recall ever having those, fetch me my wine peasant, check my knickers aren’t showing and let’s dance!”
The reality of how I’m actually handling the situation…. “I hate everybody. I hate him. HIS SUCH AN ASSHOLE. I hate her. She’s such a BITCH. Pass me the wine and let me tell you how I really feel through blubbering sobs and ruined mascara. While your at it, pass me the block of chocolate, I need the whole block to feel better.”
JUUUST KIDDING! I have my emotions under control, most of the time. But in all seriousness, I am a very sensitive person, and I do have a lot of feelings and it tends to weird people out. I’m that high-maintenance friend that get’s offended if you leave without saying goodbye. I’m the over-affectionate drunk friend you think is always hitting on you (get over yourself) at parties.
I’m not psychotic, even though it feels like it a vast majority of the time. But if I end up unmarried, living alone with my 23 cats, we all know why…
You can offend me 5 times in one day and probably never know about it, but 2 weeks later I’ll drunk dial you to make sure we’re still friends and you still love me. But all-in-all, the truth be told, I don’t see any of it as a “fault”, and while I make lite of it and of myself because I have come to terms with the fact that I’m an emotional embarrassment and fragile goods, I feel there’s still a really horrible stigma attached to it.
So here’s my short list of what NOT to say to your fragile friends:
“Why are you crying?”
I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M CRYING, and even if I do, I probably don’t want to talk about it considering I’m struggling to take a breath in between my sobs, let alone form a coherent sentance or explanation.
“You’re being silly/dramatic”
Don’t. Just don’t. It’s better if you just go sit over their in the corner, facing it, so I can pretend you don’t exist, and I never heard that.
“Do you want a hug”
No. That will just make me cry harder. You will also end up with my panda eyes all over your shirt, nobody wants that.
“Are you ok?”
Self explanatory. No, I’m clearly not. Thank you for faking an interest in my life, how noble of you.
“You’re so melodramatic” OR “You’re such a drama queen”
You’re ignorant. Please shut up and be sure to jam your finger in the door as you leave, thank you.
“Is this about… ?”
NO YOU IDIOT, don’t give me something else to cry about!!!!!
“Your eyes look so pretty when you cry”
I feel worse than a crying Kim Kardashian right now, please shut up. The vanity of some people.
“Don’t take it so personally” OR “You’re overreacting”
Say this and you will automatically become my least favourite person in the world, your move.
We’re really not that complicated to understand…. ok, maybe just a little.