So there’s this book right? Yeah a book, you know the kind you read. It’s called “It’s hard to fight naked” and it’s written by American actress Niecy Nash. Before you read on, I will warn you I’m about to embark on an angry lady rant, so brace yourselves and let’s begin.
I’ve been reading a lot about happiness lately because I find it constantly intriguing how many different suggested ways there are of obtaining it – through your marriage, through your career, through your possessions or maybe through achieving personal goals?
I don’t believe there is a step-to-step guide to happiness or a philosophy to it personally. What makes me happy won’t make my colleague happy? But overall I think it just comes down to really simple things you become accustom to through life experiences.
HOWEVER, when I stumbled across this little doosey I was ready to shoot myself in the head and be done with life for good. As stated above, these are extracts from Niecy Nash’s book, “It’s hard to fight naked”. The advice on how to have a “happy Marriage” is as follows:
“A BJ A DAY KEEPS THE DIVORCE ATTORNEY AWAY” – excuse me while I vom and dream about a fulfilling life without marriage. The only thing I commend her on is referring to men as “simplistic” – you got one thing right love. No, but really this book is as insulting to men as it is to women. Yes, this is in the book apparently.
As well as this little charming pearl of monotonous wisdom: “stomach full, penis empty”. What sort of step-to-guide is this lady? If I knew marriage was going to be this hard I would have started my crazy-cat-lady collection years ago!
Personally, I’m not the sort of girl to take marriage advice from someone posing in Playboy magazine. So while it is apparent to me that this advice is completely mysognistic even though it’s came from a FELLOW WOMAN, I can’t help but be bothered by people who seem to be caught up in her advice, like it’s the best thing they’ve ever read.
ANY IDIOT can tell you that men enjoy sex and that yes it will make them “happy” temporarily. However what sort of a message are you sending to women suggesting they should cater to men’s needs in order to have a successful marriage? That we need to objectify ourselves more as a sex, than Kim Kardashian already has?
Are a woman’s needs completely overlooked? Where’s the book on how to keep your beautiful, kind, loving, intelligent wife happy? NON-EXISTANT. You Know why? Because as woman we are prone to blaming ourselves – because maybe we overreacted? Or maybe it was our fault? So we overcompensate for this by thinking we should aid a man’s every need – which we shouldn’t.
I’m not saying become a horrible prude and stop having sex with your partner all together, I’m just saying – don’t buy into bullshit. If you’re with someone you TRULY love, you’ll figure it out without becoming each others personal mule.
I hate to give her this much credit, but I understand to an extent what she is trying to say and can understand her controversial undertone. But nonetheless you’ve angered one independent woman and put her off marriage all together – kudos to you Niecy. Your “advice” had the complete adverse affect on me. You’ve completely reiterated everything I’ve recently felt towards long-term relationships and marriage – That they are completely overrated and why would I want to give up my time and energy to cater to another human’s emotions and needs when I could be concentrating all that energy on myself. 20 is a very selfish age, ok!
Furthermore, sex is not an expectation that comes with being with someone; sex is consensual even with marriage. It also wouldn’t kill men to cook for themselves – we are not put on this earth, in your life to be your second mother. Suggesting that catering to your mans needs sexually and readily is probably the most insulting piece of advice one woman can give to another.
I’m a woman with aspirations that stem way beyond “pleasing my husband” – so keep your appalling advice to yourself.
One last confession: I haven’t actually read the book. Just a bunch of stupid reviews and articles related to it. But hey, it was enough to fire me up, so I thought I’d let loose on it. However I do plan on reading the book, so expect more rants in the future!